Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

I am not really sure where to start. I was recently diagnosed with OCD and I feel wonderful about it because for years I just thought I was broken and unable to be repaired. It feels good to finally know what the problem is so I can work on making it better.

I am also bi-polar and have a heaping serving of PTSD along with it.

I obsess over things and have disturbing thoughts and see things in my head that frighten me. My thoughts are often so loud and intrusive that I can't get them to stop. I obsess over my past and have such crippling guilt that it sometimes makes me feel like I am drowning in it.

I trace things, count, arrange, straighten, have repetitive movements, and have terrible and abusive arguments with people in my head constantly. I have unlimited rage and a fountain of hate inside me and I really don't know why. I do know that I am ready for a vacation from myself.

Bacon.

Me.

Clutch, Rammstein, Jethro Tull, Dethklok, Type O Negative, metal/hard rock, classical, blues, and bluegrass because bluegrass is the metal of country music.

My current favorite is John Dies at the End by David Wong. I also have always loved Alice in Wonderland. The Looking Glass Wars trilogy was a great spin on the Wonderland stories. Just about anything by Christopher Moore.

Trying to hold myself together while falling apart inside.

Pure O