It
is
8:50
am.
I
have
already
changed
a
couple
of
poopy
bums.
There
are
cherrios
all
over
my
floor.
I
am
exhausted,
I
haven’t
had
a
good
nights
sleep
in
months.
I
am
crying.
Why?
Because
my
2
year
old
put
his
empty
cherrio
bowl
over
his
brothers
FACE
in
his
bassinette,
that
is
right
beside
me
while
I
had
my
head
down
on
the
pillow
on
the
couch.
I
obviously
did
not
see
him
do
this
from
the
other
side
of
the
bassinette.
I
explained
to
him,
for
the
thousandth
time
not
to
put
anything
in
his
brothers
bed
or
on
his
face.
A
few
minutes
later
he
throws
the
bowl
at
me
and
then
after
that
throws
it
into
his
brothers
bassinette
again.
So
then
I
have
to
yell
to
even
get
the
point
across
at
all
to
him.
I
have
to
drag
him
for
a
time
out
(for
the
first
time
ever,
Dad
does
that
sort
of
thing,
Ive
never
felt
I
had
to).
And
he
cries.
And
I
cry
because
I
hate
having
to
yell
or
use
time
out
or
any
sort
of
force
(had
to
“drag”
I
cant
pick
him
up
from
my
c-section
recovery
still
–
I
am
NOT
a
child
abuser
at
all!).
And
I
cry
because
overnight
my
son
changed
so
much.
He
is
2.
I
know
that.
But
he
never
acted
this
way,
so
defiant
towards
me
before.
I
never
had
to
lose
my
patience
with
him,
well
very
rarely
in
the
two
years.
Now
he
is
completely
wild.
And
I
know
it
has
a
lot
to
do
with
the
baby,
and
there
is
nothing
I
can
do
about
it.
Now
as
I
type
this
he
is
climbing
all
over
me
trying
to
push
buttons
on
my
computer,
and
just
laughs
at
me
if
I
ask
him
to
stop,
even
though
Im
talking
to
him/playing
at
the
sametime.
This
is
not
a
child
who
lacks
attention,
but
that’s
how
is
behaviour
would
seem.
I
have
to
do
the
dishes,
my
floor
needs
to
be
cleaned,
I
have
to
make
breakfast.
My
laundry
needs
done,
but
I
cant
do
it
because
I
cant
lift
it
to
take
it
downstairs
–
hubby
has
to
do
that
still,
and
Im
hating
having
to
ask
him
to,
even
though
he
will
with
fairly
little
complaining,
but
its
just
not
getting
done
like
it
would
if
I
could
do
it.
The
child
is
looking
for
more
things
to
destroy.
The
baby
is
napping
but
Im
sure
he
will
be
awake
soon
and
looking
to
eat
and….yep
right
on
cue
he
just
pooped,
so
now
I
need
to
wrap
this
up
to
change
yet
another
poopy
butt.
And
so
it
goes
–
all.
day.
long.
-and
hubby
will
come
home,
call
me
a
miserable
b**ch
most
nights
and
rant
about
the
amount
of
soap
Im
going
through
or
freakright
out
on
me
about
a
minor
reassurance
question...something
along
those
lines
and
sit
on
his
computer
with
his
headset
on.
If
he
reads
that
hell
say
its
extreme
or
not
true,
but
that’s
more
or
less
it
folks.
I
love
my
two
baby
boys
more
than
anything,
dont
get
me
wrong
by
reading
this
blog,
but
this
is
really
challenging
right
now.
I
know
it
will
get
better,
well
I
hope
it
will.
I
just
hate
yelling,
hate
having
to
be
mad
at
my
little
guy
and
I
hate
having
to
fear
for
the
baby's
safety
all
the
time
-
headbutts,
kicks,
toys
(and
bowls
apparently)
thrown
at
him
-
and
all
from
a
brother
who
loves
him,
thankfully
he
doesnt
dislike
the
baby,
I
couldnt
even
imagine
then...
