I
just
want
one
freaking
thing
to
be
for
sure.
Just
one
thing,
that's
all
I
really
want.
Something
good.
Meaning
knowing
for
sure
that
I
am
a
neurotic,
socially
awkward
mess
isn't
what
I'm
going
for.
I
don't
know
if
anyone
is
going
to
read
this.
Maybe
that's
for
the
better.
Just
suffer
in
my
head,
no
one
has
to
know
my
thoughts
or
my
fears.
But
if
you
really
want
to
know
what's
going
on
in
my
head
that's
driving
me
so
crazy
then
read
on.
Ha,
speechless.
I
feel
like
an
idiot
even
now.
Am
I
so
awkward
because
of
my
OCD?
That
would
be
a
convenient
explanation.
Make
it
easy
to
pin
down
the
cause.
But
here's
the
thing.
I
make
friends
easy
enough.
But
then
I
slowly
push
them
away
or
scare
them
away.
I'm
feeling
really
low.
Feeling
terrible.
So
much
anxiety.
Well
OCD,
did
you
win?
Did
we
push
her
away?
Or
are
we
just
in
the
process?
I
hate
you.
Damn
it
I
hate
you.
What
you've
done
to
me.
I
detest
not
only
you
but
myself.
So
much
anxiety.
I
don't
even
know
what
to
do.
I
can't
even
describe
it.
I
want
it
to
be
over.
DAMN
IT!
sh*t!
I
freakin
just
want
to
start
over
and...
Damn
it.
I
can't
take
this.
