day
2
back
on
the
meds,
bad
thoughts
seem
real
and
all
i
wanna
do
is
sleep
but
cant
relax
enough,
ive
gone
through
2
packs
of
chewing
gum,
must
be
a
side
affect
getting
jittery
jaw,
beta
blockers
are
keeping
the
anxciety
at
bay
but
thats
justs
make
the
thoughts
seem
even
more
real,
still
atleast
i
dont
want
to
cry
every
5
mins,
and
ive
given
my
wife
a
break
from
the
constant
wanting
cuddles
and
acceptance,
you
see
ever
since
i
was
a
little
kid
my
mum
would
comfort
me
from
my
bad
thoughts,
when
i
was
17
i
met
a
girl
and
all
my
thoughts
went
away
including
my
compultions,
and
returned
last
year
after
my
mum
passed
away,
since
then
instead
of
grieving
properly
for
her
ive
been
obsessing
over
certain
tabood
topic,
and
its
made
me
really
weak
and
fearfull,
i
cant
look
at
anyone
or
anything
without
having
bad
thoughts,
doctors
look
at
me
blankly
while
they
right
out
another
prescription
and
ive
driven
my
wife
nuts,
i
feel
like
im
fighting
a
monster
inside
me,
oh
well
ill
just
have
another
cigerette,
sorry
about
my
spelling
and
gramma
i
was
always
daydreaming
at
school.
