Hokay
so
time
to
type
100
times
or
so
must
not
start
blogs
only
to
abandon
them
after
a
day
or
3
.......
somewhere
(my
own
inner
fantasy
no
doubt!)
there
may
be
a
poor
disracted
soul
bereft
of
any
worthy
passtime
who
is
just
desperate
to
find
out
what
yours
truly
is
doing.........uh
yeah
right!
So
what
is/
has
yours
T
been
up
to
since
the
last
abortive
attempt
to
bring
some
semblance
of
order
to
the
muddle
of
thoughts
musings
and...
ahem
happenings
that
occur
in
said
YT's
Brain/life?
Well
lets
see
1)
Doing
appallingly
badly
at
exams
and
thus
having
to
renact
the
whole
1st
year
at
uni
debarcle-
Due
in
Part
to
the
quite
manic
Escalation
of
the
"skinnyrexia"
and
part
due
to
the
anxiety
induced
flare
up
of
OCD
"quirks"
-
the
upshot
of
which
was
I
didn't
actually
manage
to
completely
finish
a
single
exam!
there
was
also
the
interesting
phenomena
of
"blanking
out"
and
actually
losing
time
in
a
few
of
the
darn
thangs
too!
still
at
least
they
havn't
barred
the
doors
and
told
me
to
never
cross
thier
path
again!
Let
that
be
a
cautionary
tale
tho'
kids--
Chemistry
degrees
cannot
be
passed
on
veg
alone!!!
(well
not
at
an
average
of
300
"negative"
Cals
per
day)
especially
if
the
days
that
you
have
lectures
and
labs encompass
a
10
hour day!
2)
It's
official!-
after
all
the
proddings
and pokings (both
physical
and
psychological!)
It
has
been
confirmed
that I
am
indeed
a
("chronic") 'skinnyrexic'
("purging-subtype")
however
due
to
an
unfornate
inability
on
the
part
of
the
(albeit
very
lovely) Dr
Lady
who
assesed
me,
to
calculate
BMI
properly
I
have
now
been
downgraded
from
"severe"
to
"moderate"
(yes
folks
they
really
do
catergorise
you
in
that
way!)
(emaciated!)
Hands
up
anyone
who
can
understand
the
huge
sense
of
disapointment/
failure
that
came
with
the
loss
of
that
1
BMI
point?
Which
has
in
turn
lead
to
my
current
entrenchment
in
the
most
hideous
Binge/Purge
cycle
I've
ever
had
the
misfortune
to
experience-
the
subsequent
increase
in
the
numbers
on
the
scale
have
left
me
in
a
place
where
I'm
crawling
out
my
skin,
feeling
about
the
size
of
a
small
heifer........farm!
and
have
thus
entitled
myself
the
worst
skinnyrexic
ever-
yes
despite
the
fact
that
I
now
have
Osteoperosis,
osteopenia
and
have
lost
inches
(that
being
a
short-a**e
as
I
am/was
couldn't
afford
to
lose)
in
height,
despite
the
fact
that
I
have
had
no
regular
'girly'
activity
for
nigh
on
2
years,
depite
the
fact
that
I
have
been
(or
would
if
I
had
any
left!)
freezing
my
T*ts
off
all
year,
despite
even
the
appearance
of
my
"nice
glossy
Fur"
I
am
feeling
miffed
cheated
and
unworthy
because
I
have
not
acheived
the
Hallowed
Moniker
of
Severe
Anorexic.......
Pathetic!
-this
is
my
cue
as
so
many
before
me
have
done
to
beg
all
of
you
out
there
who
are
just
on
the
edges
of
an
ED
to
PLEASE
GET
HELP
NOW!!!
Seriously
kids-23
years
I've
been
fighting
this
one
and
it's
only
now
that
I'm
anywhere
near
to
(considering/trying
to?)
deal
with
it.
I
know
the
chances
are
that
if
Ana/Mia/
the
be-otches
from
hell/
whatever
you
want
to
call
them
have
their
surprisingly
strong
skeletal
grip
on
you
you're
unlikely
to
pay
my
plea
much
mind,
however
a
cautionary
tale
for
you-
for
years
and
years
I
have
bemoaned
the
fact
that
I
am
very
short,
that
in
fact
I
have
not
grown
since
I was
ooh
about
12
years
old
in
fact-
I
personally
have
blamed
the
parents! However
having
done some
extensive
(obsessive!)
research
it
transpires
that
Eating
disorders
(particularly
involving
restriction)
during
the
early
Adolescent
years
(apparently
girls
have
a
"final"
growth
spurt
between
12-18)
can
actually
stunt
(or
indeed
halt
entirely!) your
growth.
Now...
my
first
serious
"issues"
with
eating
kicked
off
when
I
was
ooh
lets
see
11/12
and
continued
(in
earnest)
until
I
was
about
19/20,
my
height
(according
to
the
psuedo
scientific
calculation
of
a
childs
height
at
is
it
2
or
3?)
Should
have
been
around
the
5'
4"
mark
(ok
not
tall
but
respectable!)
-
I
never
reached
5'
and
have
now
shrunk
significantly
below
this
(to
the
poiint
that
I
could
now
officially
claim
Midget
status)....well
you
do
the
the
math
and
I'll
say
no
more
on
the
subject!
Uni
is
starting
up
again
and
of
course
I'm
full
of
good
intentions
I'm
gonna
work
harder
study
longer
get
more
involved
with
stoodent
life
maybe
even
socialise
ocasionally!
(I
even
went
to
a
community
volunteering
meeting
today!)
of
course
the
f*****d
up
part
of
me
that
cares
not
at
all
for
this
academia
and
is
only
interested
in
the
pursuit
of
(extreme)
thiness is
steadfastly
directing
my
attention
in
that
direction-and
I've
got
to
admit
I
can't
see
the
'buzzing'
subsiding
untill
I've
at
least
complied
with
the
"shedding
a
few
pounds"
part
of
'her' 'remit'.
Ho
Hum
D****ed
if
you
dont
Da***d
if
you
do
......
Thus my
Mantra
for
the
forseeable
is
"must
try
Harder"
and
let
the
gods
decide
on
which
path
the sword
(effort)
falls.
so
as
a
very
clever
pig
once
said
"Thh
Thh
Thats
all
folks"
or
at
least
it for
now,
take
care,
keep
safe
stay
strong.
and
don't
try
this
at
home!
BB
'Waif
