Today
I
almost
let
go
of
it.
I've
been
having
HOCD
obsessions
for
about
2 and
a
half
months
now.
But
as
soon
as
I
decided
that
i
wasn't
gay,
i
got
anxious
(ironically
enough)
because
i
had
nothing
to
worry
about
or
obsess
over.
i immediately
went
back
to
my
hocd
thoughts.
This
happened
at
the
best
place
for
hocd
thoughts
to
spike,
the
gym.
I
sit
there,
staring
at
guys
bodies
the
whole
time,
trying
to
figure
out
if
i'm
attracted
to
them.
Yet
i
don't
really
feel
an
attraction
towards
women
right
now
(i
did
before
hocd).
But
all
i
notice
are
guys
muscular
bodies
anymore.
I
feel
like
now
i
almost
feel
like
i
like
looking
at
their
bodies.
i'm
not
sure
if
it's
just
because
i
don't
really
feel
aroused
and
that
comforts
me,
or
if
i
actually
like
them.
if
i'm
not
constantly
worrying
about
something
or
trying
to
sort
something
out,
i
get
anxious.
but
i'm
anxious
and
depressed
when
i
worry
about
something. My
mind
searches
for
whatever
i
can
to
obsess
over.
Why
i
like
girls,
if
there's
an
afterlife,
if
i'm
going
to
hurt
someone
are
all
obsessions
i've
dealt
with.
Yet
i
want
to
worry
about
them
because
if
i
don't
have
anything
then
i'm
anxious.
Does
anyone
else
feel
like
this?
