I
am
feeling
a
little
bit
better.
I
guess
my
medicine
is
starting
to
kick
in.
The
intrusive
thoughts
aren't
there
as
much
as
they
were
a
week
ago.
I
am
alone
with
my
baby
boy
for
the
first
time
this
morning
and
I
am
feeling
a
little
anxious.
I
know
in
my
heart
that
I
would
never
hurt
my
children
but
in
my
mind
I
can't
convince
myself
of
that.
This
has
been
a
really
difficult
time
for
me.
Probably
the
hardest
thing
I've
ever
had
to
deal
with.
Having
horrible
intrusive
thoughts
about
bringing
harm
to
your
child
is
awful.
I
feel
so
guilty.
My
other
fear
is
that
I'm
going
to
develop
psycosis.
I
know
this
condition
is
very
rare
but
I
can't
convince
myself
of
that
either.
I
am
reading
brain
lock
right
now
and
also
Postpartum
depression
for
dummies
which
was
written
by
a
doctor
who
went
through
postpartum
OCD
herself.
Anyway
I
guess
I
am
just
asking
for
reassurance.
That
always
makes
me
feel
better
at
least
for
a
while.
Thanks
to
all
of
you
who
have
really
been
there
for
me
in
this
extremely
hard
time
in
my
life.
I
really
appreciate
it.
I'm
glad
the
thoughts
are
getting
better.
I
know
how
scarey
they
can
be.
It's
such
a
relief
when
the
meds
start
working.
And
I
didn't
have
ocd
really
when
my
kids
were
first
born,
but
I
did
have
severe
depression
and
I
know
what
it's
like
to
feel
anxious
when
you're
alone
with
the
baby.
I
felt
so
trapped
and
feel
like
I
missed
time
with
my
precious
first
baby.
Truth
is
though
I
was
a
great
mother
and
you
are
too.
You
would
never
hurt
your
baby,
you
are
a
great
mom
and
I
know
that
just
from
talking
to
you.
When
you
start
to
feel
guilty
from
the
thoughts,
try
to
push
it
out
of
your
mind,
hard
I
know,
but
try
to
push
it
out
of
your
mind
because
you
have
nothing
to
feel
guilty
about!
It's
just
the
ocd
and
nothing
more.
Tell
yourself
you're
a
great
mom,
even
say
it
out
loud
if
you
have
to,
seriously!
Yell
it
to
yourself
if
you
have
to.
But
you
tell
yourself
you're
a
great
mom
and
are
plenty
capable
of
taking
care
of
your
newborn
and
of
a
sound
mind.
I
know
what
it's
like
to
feel
like
you
are
going
to
"lose
it".
I've
had
fears
before
of
what
if
I
just
scream
and
freak
out
and
have
a
nervous
breakdown
and
then
not
know
anyone...know
what?
IT
HASN'T
HAPPENED.
That's
what
your
meds
are
for.
Lean
on
them.
And
say
prayers
every
day,
if
you
believe
in
that.
I'm
wishing
lots
of
good
thoughts
for
you
to
have
lots
of
confidence
in
yourself!
You
let
us
know
how
WELL
you
are
doing.
I
expect
good
things!!
So
sorry
to
hear
you
are
suffering
so
badly
with
postpartum
OCD.
I
know
exactly
how
horrible
that
is.
I
had
the
same
condition
12
years
ago
after
the
birth
of
my
son
and
it
was
really
awful.
I
hope
that
you
are
getting
some
support.
Whatever
you
feel,
try
to
remember
it
is
only
thoughts
-
I
know
that
it
does
feel
so
realistic
and
frightening
to
you.
It
is
a
condition
and
not
the
real
person
which
is
you.
I
was
too
afraid
to
tell
anyone
except
my
husband
when
I
had
the
condition
and
at
times
it
felt
like
living
through
hell
so
I
do
know
how
you
feel.
I
am
sure
you
are
a
good
and
caring
person
and
a
great
mom.
This
condition
always
seems
to
attack
the
things
you
care
about
the
most.
You
will
get
better,
even
if
it
takes
some
time.
Please
feel
free
to
talk
to
me
at
any
time
and
I
will
do
anything
I
can
to
help.
Don't
worry
about
telling
me
exactly
what
the
thoughts
are
-
I
have
probably
had
them
all!
You
are
not
alone
in
experiencing
this
awful
illness,
and
don't
worry
you
will
definitely
not
develop
psychosis
-
that
is
something
completely
different,
unrelated
to
OCD.
I
remember
feeling
very
isolated
and
lonely
as
a
new
mom
with
OCD.
I
do
not
want
you
to
feel
like
that
so
please
talk
to
me if
you
need
to.
Take
care, from
Jue
xx
OFFLINE
I would like to chat to and hopefully help sufferers of OCD and anxiety disorders.
