Hi
i
am
new
to
this,
my
name
is
Becki
and
i
guess
im
on
here
because
i
have
been
relentlessly
searching
through
support
groups
to
find
some
whol
i
can
relate
with
and
im
finding
it
very
difficult,
there
is
so
much
i
want
to
say
and
so
many
questions
i
would
like
help
in
answering.
Firstly
i
havnt
been
diagnosed,
i
am
21
and
i
supose
the
older
i
am
getting
the
more
unberable
these
feelings
are
getting
especially
in
the
last
5
years.
Here
is
a
bit
of
my
story
(sorry
its
quite
a
lot),
I
suffer
the
need
to
check
everything
multiple
times,
order
things
and
touch
things
untill
it
feels
right,
i
am
ruled
by
the
number
12!
And
everyday
tasks
such
as
going
into
the
fridge,
going
to
the
toilet..etc
arecausing
so
many
problems
and
this
can
takeanything
fromhalf
an
hour,
things
need
to
be
straight,
tidy,
and
symetrical.
I
have
gotten
worse
in
other
ways
as
in
i
feel
the
need
to
tap
things
12
times
and
if
it
doesnt
feel
right,
i
have
to
repeat
the
action
untill
it
does,
i
read
and
re-read
sentences
untill
i
can
do
so,
un-interupted,
i
have
to
write
and
re-write
notes
etc
untill
it
is
perfect,
i
Worry
constantly
about
irrational
things.
Everything
i
am
doing
or
thinking
has
to
be
written
down,
i
supose
that
is
one
way
i
kind
of
cope
with
not
having
an
overwhelming
feeling
of
anxiety.Another
thing
i
do
iswhen
walking
pastpeoples
front
doors
if
they
have
a
door
mat
outside
i
have
to
push
and
touch
it
12
times
with
each
hand
and
the
same
with
each
foot,
how
would
you
even
begin
to
explain
this
to
someone
if
they
opened
the
door
onyou
but
i
HAVE
to
do
it,
There
could
be
an
emergency
and
i
cannot
run
out
of
a
room
without
doing
these
"rituals"
and
i
worry
this
can
end
up
with
someone
being
hurt
just
because
i
cannot
get
to
them
quick
enough.
Often
i
end
up
in
tears
out
of
frustration
with
myself
as
i
know
i
wont
feel
right
untill
i
do
these
things
no
matter
how
long
they
take!
Family
and
friends
know
this
is
part
of
me
but
i
fear
they
do
not
realise
the
extent
of
what
i
am
going
through
and
i
am
tired
and
fed
up!
I
read
people
who
have
been
suffering
for
20
30
sometimes
40
years,
i
am
only
young
and
i
do
not
feel
i
could
cope
with
this
forever.
I
would
like
to
see
a
doctor
and
be
diagnosed
but
i
worry
that
my
symptoms
are
not
severe
enough
as
i
know
there
are
people
who
suffer
a
lot
worse
than
i
do.
I
supose
im
on
here
for
someone
to
tell
me
they
are
having
the
same
feelings
and
thoughts
as
i
am,
ive
never
met
or
spoken
to
anyone
suffering
with
ocd
before.
So
if
anyone
can
help
or
relate
to
anything
i
have
said,
it
would
be
so
much
appriciated.
Becki
xxxx
