Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

I've suffered with OCD for most of my life. It started when I was six and ruined my childhood by making it very difficult to things. I had to do everything in a particular way or at a particular time. My behaviour caused people who didn't understand to regard me as weird. But at the time even I didn't know what was wrong with me.

The obsessions got worse during my teens and I found it difficult to make friends because of my anxiety and fears, also because I was bullied and became suspicious of people. I isolated myself during the years that I should really have been doing the sort of things that most young people do and the endless rituals I had to perform were the only things that helped me to cope with my loneliness and eventual depression.

Eventually my state of mind became too much and I didn't want to live anymore. That was ten years aho when I was diagnosed with OCD.

I've made some progress since then but for every step forward there seems to be a couple of backward steps. I don't have to do so many rituals now but I still have to deal with many intrusive and negative thoughts which drive me mad and make it hard for me to switch off.

I've read more about OCD on the net and for a while attended a local support group. Part of the reason I stopped going was because I also struggle with Social Anxiety and feel uncomfortable in social situations. But the reality is I would really like to make new friends who can understand what I've been through both online and hopefully at some stage offline. I look forward to hearing from everyone!

making new friends, listening to music, collecting rare records and magazines, walking, gaining more knowlege about psychology and mental health problems, showing empathy

being ignored, judged, misunderstood and evaluated in a negative way.

Most types of music from the 60s, 70s and 80s, rock, electronic, punk, new wave. My favourite band is probably Queen.

music, TV, video, walking, internet, writing poetry