Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

March 8, 2013, 8:28 pm

Hi there, welcome. Sorry for the delayed response, I don't get on here every day. Thanks for the kind words on my blog. I had been in therapy for other issues, we were doing a lot of CBT and something called schema therapy (an off-shoot of CBT). I got worse before I knew I had it. But once I did, I set about really learning how ocd operates. I began medication and it helped some, but really it made getting better possible... instead of making me better. That is one major issue for OCD people, many don't know that is how the medications tend to work. At best, most will reduce symptoms and allow a person to shake off the thoughts and feelings easier.

I've not yet met anyone who actually got a whole lot better from ERP. I have read a lot of good things about neuroplasticity though. I'll give you a link to a video about it. Some people like the book "brain lock" but I didn't feel it was a good fit for me.

So.. what did I do? Well, as I said, the meds gave me a foothold. I still take luvox and I worked with my therapist to learn about how the ocd worked, and to build my confidence about tackling it.

Since then.. it takes a lot of work and determination. You have to work on the specific things OCD does, so CBT-ERP or whatever method works well for you. But really, the keys to gaining power over it have more to do with really grasping what OCD is and what it is doing in your mind, and a determination to beat it. You have to change how you look at it, how you talk about it and how you talk to yourself. It means you have to be vigilant about it too. Just before Xmas I realized I was deeply mired in an OCD pattern I hadn't seen happening.

So, yes, CBT is a part of what I do to stay well, but it has to be adapted or you just end up arguing with the OCD and that makes a person worse.

You have to see the OCD as what it is... not some monster or big evil thing. You are not to blame for the way it affects your thoughts and feelings, so it helps to see it as separate from yourself. but be careful not to then make it more powerful than yourself, because it isn't. It doesn't have a mind of it's own so it can't plot against you. it is a small area of the brain, a group of neurons that normally produce the same thoughts and feelings but not so intensely. Normal people don't really pay attention to them. But we do and once we do, without understanding what they are, we tend to help make the ocd stronger. So, it isn't a curse, it isn't worse than cancer and it isn't bigger or stronger than you. It confuses us and unless we learn how it affects us we are trapped.

I think the hardest part of doing better is really grasping how it works and that we can step outside it. Once you really do get that, it changes how you see it. When it is mostly thought-based like yours, it is harder but it is still very possible. You have to just forget the belief that you can't change it. You have to start telling yourself that you are bigger and stronger than a few neurons. You have to tell yourself you are brave and do things you don't believe you can do.

It sort of takes a bit of blind faith or courage I guess. You learn as much about positive self-talk as you can. You find ways to practice gratitude as often as possible. You take all the wide variety of tricks out there to boost your self esteem and mood, and you make it part of your self care. I carry a tub of playdoh around with me because I find the scent very soothing. All those things help you the same way as tools in a toolbox. None will "cure" ocd, but together they give you a lot of ways to address the things ocd does that weaken us. You work on building your confidence and self esteem. You work to address times of depression, etc. If you are wise, you also try to just plain take care of yourself physically - like good sleep, your food intake, exercise, etc. Because being healthy helps you do what you need to.

I also spend a lot of time telling people to learn to be kind to themselves. OCD people tend to believe they are terrible people and we suffer such self hatred. But that is like living with a bully 24 hrs a day. The ironic thing is that the OCD isn't the bully... we are. We bully ourselves because part of us listens to the OCD thoughts/feelings. When we do that we strengthen the OCD and weaken ourselves. But, if you treat yourself with kindness the opposite is true. So, see yourself as you really are... a regular good person who happens to have OCD. You don't deserve to suffer. Be gentle with yourself, speak kindly to yourself. When we do that, the OCD loses strength because it needs your mind and body to operate.

I'm not at my best tonight so I hope this was at least a bit of help. I had pneumonia recently and my doctor told me I have probably another 6-8 weeks before I get stronger again. And he said that because of the other condition I have, it might be longer. But hey, I'm still breathing so I'm doing something right. I'm just not clear-minded and able to think well tonight.

If I can be of help, I'll try. I have some of the ocd issue you mentioned. It isn't active much now, but it is one that will creep back in here and there. It pains me to think how bad it makes you feel. You don't deserve this. You're a good person and the world is better with you in it. If you're willing to be patient with my health hurdles, I'll try my best to exchange messages and see if we can get you a better foothold. I am no therapist but I think I do well with the OCD. I've talked a lot of people through to a place where they felt like they had a chance of improving. I'll try if you want.

You can do this. It takes work. It isn't sexy or exciting, it's just hard frustrating work. But you can do it. And if you want me to help I am happy to... but be forewarned, I don't coddle people. If someone is feeding their ocd I will be as blunt as it gets. I care a lot about the people here and ocd'ers in general. We can get coddled another time. Right now there is work to do.

are you onboard?

March 3, 2013, 9:50 pm

welcome to the tribe i'm Craig and you are but anyway have a nice day

March 3, 2013, 3:33 pm

Hi there...how are you and welcome to the tribe...there are a lot of people on here who share the same issues you described in your blog, I for one am one...