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Onestrongwomen
My URL: http://www.ocdtribe.com/onestrongwomen

JOB: Other
SMOKE: No
DRINK: No
RELIGION: Christian
ORIENTATION: Straight
DATING STATUS: Divorced
MEMBER SINCE: February 21, 2012
POINTS: [ 13 ]
GENDER: Female
LOCATION: California, United States
AGE: 41
VIEWS: 14
STAR SIGN: Taurus
LAST LOGIN: 05.04.12


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Hello. I am sure glad to find a support page that can possibly help me deal with issues. I met a guy when I was 15. We started going out. When I was 18 I moved in with him. He bought a house & we moved into it together. All was good. We both worked on the weekdays, and most often were with friends & coworkers on the weekends (sometimes partying). When I was 23 I married this same guy. All seemed to be good to me. After 2 years of marriage (I was 25) we decided (I thought WE) to start trying for a baby. We had trouble getting pregnant, talked In Vitro, but couldn't afford the non-guarantee. We decided to wait. Within the next 2 years I became pregnant(I was 27). The end of that year(I was 28)I gave birth to our first (and only) child. Having our Daughter woke me up to so many things. I grew up instantly, and changed my priorities. I was fortunate enough to become a Stay-At-Home Mom for our Daughter (this was, I thought, a mutual agreement). I was absorbed, 24 hrs. a day 7 days a week, in being a Mommy to our Daughter. Over the next years I slowly uncovered, & uncovered things that were definitely wrong within my marriage. I started to go to therapy sessions, and discovered all the abuse I was/had been taking from my husband. I don't know how I could not have seen how wrong it all was. The abuses included:verbal abuse,mental abuse, and when it went to physical abuse just once I decided, for the safety of our Daughter & I, that I would take our Daughter & move out of the home. I continued therapy, and continued bringing my Daughter to Child therapy sessions to help her deal with the things she saw & heard. I also asked my husband to go to therapy, but he totally refused. Always saying “I’m not the problem. If you didn’t do the things you do I wouldn’t be this way. I have never hit you, hitting you is abuse, and I haven’t abused you.” I ended up signing a 6 month contract to rent an apartment in the same city, and our Daughter came with me. I filed for Legal Separation so I could have a right to financial support, and have the courts behind me in case he becomes more abusive (My Daughter was then 6 yrs. old, and I was 35). Well my filing, for legal separation, didn't go over well with him (of course I now see that this would happen with an abuser). It just got worse, and worse. He has just continued on, and said more abusive things. Yes now I don’t have to live in the same house (with his abuse), but it still goes on being we have to have contact regarding our Daughter. He also has continued to emotionally/verbally abuse our Daughter by speaking to her badly and telling her untrue bad things about me.
After 2 years of living in the apartment in the same city of my husband I mentally could not take any more of his abuse. I temporarily went to the city my family lived in (5 hrs. away). Our Daughter, afraid of her Dad, came with me. I did drive the 5 hr. distance every other weekend so our Daughter could have her visits with her Dad (the only thing he lacked was his Monday & Wednesday 3 hr. evening visits). He put police reports out on me, and the attorney I had at the time went to court without my knowledge. He made the courts believe I abducted our Daughter, and the courts issued a Child Abduction order on me. I had to leave my Daughter with her Dad, and have every other weekend visitation in the county he & she lived in. I hired a very good attorney, and I fought for a year and a half to regain custody of our Daughter. I now have primary physical custody of our Daughter, and we live in the city where my family is. The abuse does continue, but I am a much stronger person living near my family. We continue to be in & out of court. My Daughter & I have to deal with a lot of verbal & emotional abuse from him, but it is so much better being a far distance from him.
In October 2011 our divorce proceedings hit the 5 year mark. Last June (2011) our Divorce was said to be final, but every matter is still a fight from my Ex (of course except the already resolved primary residence of our Daughter). He still is continuously fighting the visitation, Child & Alimony support that was awarded, and all the property division. In total I don’t know how many court hearings we’ve been through, we’ve been in mediation sessions at least 3 unsuccessful times, an 8 month long Child Custody Evaluation with a Forensic Psychologist, an 8 day Divorce Trial, and under the request of myself the court appointed Minors Counsel for our Daughter (of course her Dad didn’t appreciate this since he was guilty of a lot that he didn’t want uncovered). We had another hearing the second week of February and I really hoped all of the matters would be unresolved but didn't happen. We go back in May 2012. Our attorney's say they are going to, again, try to resolve all out of court. I really hope so because my Daughter & I really need to have some peace in our lives, to start healing, and be able to move on. I’m not really sure how much we can get with her still a minor, and his continuous abusive behavior. I sure am praying for it to all be resolved. I sure hope I have found the correct match for my needs with this website. I am looking to hear from anyone that can give me inspiration, insight, confidence, and knowledge about anything that would help both my Daughter & I resolve our hurts. Thank you for reading my story and I look forward to hearing back from hopefully someone.




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SHOWING LAST 3 of 3 ENTRIES
May 4, 2012, 10:06 pm
WildGlitterFairy: Thank you soooo much for the very beautiful birthday cake. It made my day a bit more brighter.:-)

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May 4, 2012, 6:50 pm
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~ Behind my smile is everything you'll never understand.
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February 24, 2012, 4:04 pm
Thank you, Lyra, for welcoming me.

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