Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

I have had OCD since early childhood and suffered without a diagnosis for over thirty years. My earliest memories of the disease were religious obsessions which led to rituals. The Catholic Church scared the hell out of me as a child, and I fears going to hell, so I would perform ritualistic prayers and body movements, which I had no understanding of, and got no help from my strict Catholic parents. Later in life, as a new mother, I developed severe Harm OCD, fearing that I would hurt my child, still with no understanding that I was not the first person on the planet to have such thoughts and believing I was a serious threat to my daughter. I continued to have severe checking problems, especially at night, and Harm OCD. Finally, in my mid thirties, I was diagnosed and began medication trials in my forties. I am now stable, on disability for OCD since 1992. I am remarried to a nice guy who understands my disorder, I live in central Vermont, and have a daughter, an asshole son-in-law, and two beautiful grandchildren living next door to me. I take Zoloft and Ativan, and I have to have my Ambien...OCD with checking, rituals, cleaning, HOCD. Social anxiety. Avoidant Personality Disorder.