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POSTED BY: Cowboys1762 on Oct 31, 2010 [ QUOTE ]


This is an opportunity for me to bear my soul in a safe format where I hope I will not be judged.  I am around other people with Pure O in this community and I assume you know what its like to be troubled with disturbing thoughts.  My specific disturbing thoughts started out on the Religious stuff (believing I was going to hell etc.), then later in life moved toward more of a social phobia. 

I thought I had it all under control at one point and then I came accross the Gay OCD.  I'm sure most of you know about it, it is believing you are homosexual despite all evidence to the contrary having a girlfriend and being attracted to the opposite sex but still having odd thoughts about being gay... I finally came to terms with the fact that I had these odd thought or thought I had at one point. 

Then, the worst thing that I have never been able to get off my chest until now happened about 2 years ago.  I was sitting alone in my apartment after breaking up with my girlfriend and being off my meds for a few weeks.  The worst freak out of my life.  I was using the restroom (taking a #2) and I thought something smelled good...the next thought to enter my mind was that I had to eat it because it smelled good.  This was disgusting to me then and is disgusting to me now!!! I wish I could come to grips over this whole thing but its very difficult and I am finally in a place in my life where I am really moving onto the next chapter.  I do not know what it was about the thought that bothered me soo... much but it did.  The fact that I found something smelling interesting in my bowel movement or it smelled like something I just ate should not have been so disturbing but it was.  I do not know if it was because I was under so much stress at the time or what the result of this was.  However, I do know this was something I felt like a "MONSTER" for and that I was no longer human because I experienced it.  It was the worst thing that has happened to me in my life and I felt like I was losing my humanity, I am not even exaggerating on this point at all.  Anyways, it could of been a comblination of losing my girlfriend and getting off the meds.  I dont know what it was but it still haunts me to this day.

Back in the time when I was going to counseling they suggested I get on a website and use that anonymity to express some of my feelings.  I figure if anybody understands it would be you fellow OCD sufferers.  Now, I occasionally am having a bowel movement and notice something that smells nice or like something I just ate and it still creeps me out but I am able to flush the toilet and go on about my normal life.  This opportunity to get this off my chest has been wonderful and I am not sure what the responses will be like because it is kind of a gross subject.  I read an article somewhere where the genes that control smell are related to OCD but I have always been looking for a reason why I would have a thought like that.  Anyways, I know its pointless but I just want to find a group where I can remain anonymous and feel some sort of acceptance for myself.  I hope this is it and thankyou for your time!

Thanks,

Cowboys1762

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POSTED BY: feeona1 on Dec 05, 2010 [ QUOTE ]


well, let me start by saying you are not a moster or ever were! there have been times when i went to the toliet and thought "oh my goodness , it smells like it went in" lol. but i didnt think anything else about it..........

my pshyciatrist told me that something brings something into your mind (like the smell) then your brain turned into something else! He said that every one does this ... the only difference is that ocd ppls dont let it leave the mind as fast as it came in!  he told me that ppl with no ocd have intrusive thoughts aswell but dont think anything of it and forget it ..... thats the difference.....

you havnt been the first to have that thought on the toliet , its just your ocd making sure that you didnt forget it





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oi man
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POSTED BY: Misconceptions on Feb 12, 2011 [ QUOTE ]


I'm late responding but that's your OCD. Of course we can't judge you - it's not your fault! Your brain simply had a sudden intrusive thought (and funny how imaginative our brains are, eh?), and you reacted. You didn't do anything wrong and it rudely came into your mind. Obviously you don't find the smell of your crap to be nice. Even if you did, does it matter? That's your business. Society's views on things may influence your stress, but hey, I think; "Whatever works for you." (Even though I know you had no pleasure from it. xD)

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Oct 31, 2014



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