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just want to be understood

By: kaydikat354
Mood: Anxious
Date: Dec 13, 2012
Music: None


Hi everyone. This is my first time writting here , so here it goes. Ive been anorexic for 2.5 years and im 15. I also have ocd which relates with my anorexia. I feel so alone all the time becuase no one understands. They dont get why i HAVE to do things like check doors and wash hands. I just want someone to get me. They think im just doing this all for attention and as a big joke but my mind is constantly full of anxious thoughts. I can never focus in school and im missing out on things with my friends because they conflict with my rituals. I feel crazy and out of control. Does any one else (expeically other teens) feel this way??


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VIEWING 1 - 2 OUT OF 2 COMMENTS

December 19, 2012, 11:18 pm
Hey im chantell im 20 years old and im from australia. I had annorexia when i was 9 years old. I had it so bad that i nearly killed myself from starvation. I was hospitalised for months because they couldnt work out why i didnt want to eat any solid foods. Arfter a fee months of tests and therapy etc they realised that the not eating was because i had ocd. I had a fear of choking witch made me not eat solid foods no matter how hungry i was. Thats when they put me on a tablet called lovan and my fear was pretty much gone an i could eat anything. Up to a few months ago when my lovan stopped working for me my body just got to usto the medication. Alot of my anxiety came back and now im struggling to find a new medication that will work for me. I thought i was the only person that had all these problems that i had. But theres alot of people like us.

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From: Jive
December 13, 2012, 1:11 pm

I used to be just like this when I was younger. I was borderline anorexic when I was 10 because I felt like I would choke on my food. I still check doors and wash my hands. I used to constantly think everything I touched was poisonous or dirty. I was so afraid that I was crazy and that if I told anyone what I was going through, they would put me in a mental hospital.

Age 15 was the hardest age for me. My friends could see that I would have moments where I would drift off into a place inside my mind and have a panic attack. They didn't know what was going on because I became so good at hiding it. All they could see was me sitting and staring. I was afraid to tell my friends what I was going through; but I finally did. I was so afraid that they would think I was weird and reject me. But they didn't. They told me they were here for me and that nothing would change.

If your friends refuse to understand, then they aren't your true friends. And they aren't worth your time.

I know exactly why you feel like you have to perform these rituals. I understand completely.



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