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holy crap

By: hondaracr
Mood: Sad
Date: Nov 21, 2012
Music: None


This is an extremely difficult time, i will agree when im sick and have a headache the obsessive thoughts are so much worse, because my mind is exhausted already the thoughts just keep on flowing. for every what if question i have, like what if im that person. what if i want to take that person out. what if i dont believe anymore. well right now my thoughts are just flowing without the what if's. i feel hopeless, i feel like a monster. i can tell myself everything that i really want to hear but it has almost no meaning. im gettingSSRI's tomorrow so i hope to god that they help me out atleast a little bit. i could use anything to get rid of this or even subtle this. and as i think more and more im afraid that these meds because they will stabilize this a bit maybe. but im afraid they will make me believe that im that person. this is soooo messed up and i know my mind is racing right now. i fricken hate this. and im sick of my mind literally turning every positive thing around. i got a big middle finger to you.


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From: rainingoctober
November 27, 2012, 12:01 pm

You have to find something you enjoy, something to make you happy, and then try to obsess over that! =)
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But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep...
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From: Aingeal
November 24, 2012, 5:18 pm
Try and hang in there. Much easier said than done I know...I've to try and take my own advice too. But the meds will start to work and soon the storm will settle.

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I feel like I'm trapped in Groundhog day
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From: hondaracr
November 23, 2012, 7:15 pm

I want to thank all of you guys for your comments. they do mean alot
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Victory is always possible for the person who keeps on fighting.
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From: HereIFindMyself
November 22, 2012, 6:05 pm

Hang in there - you can learn to get through this.  I believe there are so many people that the meds really help and I hope they help you too. That's the OCD lieing to you - telling you you're "that monster".  The meds are not going to do that to you.  I think they are supposed to help with the anxiety so you can learn to deal with the OCd and see it for what it is. It's just the OCD - it's not you.  Right now you're "down in it" - sucked into that OCD whirlpool.  A year ago I was where you are now.  You can get through this.
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From: chez
November 22, 2012, 10:04 am

The meds will help you but you need to be paitent it will take a few weeks good luck i hope you feel better soon. 
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Fear is a feeling that is more stronger than love.
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From: SheridanFaith
November 22, 2012, 1:57 am

 Good luck with the meds! I have been on them many years now and can tell you, they made a big difference for me.  It took awhile, but you should notice improvement within a few weeks. 
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From: blondiemom
November 21, 2012, 10:36 pm

 I know it's hard but you have to take a deep breath and relax.   The meds won't make you realize you are a monster, they will make you realize that your ocd is sick and crazy.  Make sure you give the meds 6-8 weeks too.
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From: nygiantsfan_backhome
November 21, 2012, 9:54 pm

I can so relate with how you're feeling and thinking.  I promise, you are not alone, and I know it must seem like you are. Stay strong! You will.
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