120 miles for Love
I
know
this
is
not
strictly
my
OCD
related
but
in
a
way
it
is.
Right
now
I’m
not
caring
about
the
pain
in
my
hands
neck
and
back
because
the
need
to
write
and
get
things
out
my
head
is
greater.
I’m
picking
up
headset
today
so
I
will
not
have
to
worry
about
my
hands
and
typing
:)
Yet
again
my
mind
is
in
swirls
of
things.
I
get
images
sometimes
pop
into
my
head
of
the
thoughts
whizzing
around.
It’s
always
black
grey
and
white
ish
swirls
going
in
various
directions
some
faster
then
others.
Each
part
a
thought
worry
or
something
I
have
to
do.
120
miles
yesterday
and
I
have
to
do
it
again
on
Wednesday
all
for
a
wee
sample
from
Max.
Why
because
you
do
anything
for
your
pets
and
Max
is
not
well.
I
feel
so
guilty
for
being
so
far
away.
The
vet
called
me
late
yesterday
to
say
the
sample
I
took
in
was
even
more
diluted
then
the
previous
ones
and
it’s
not
good.
She
wants
to
take
a
sample
direct
from
his
bladder
and
give
him
another
check
over.
I
will
give
her
one
thing
she
is
a
lovely
lady
and
concerned
about
me
driving
over
again.
She
said
she
would
pick
Max
up
herself
but
is
so
busy.
Why
can’t
my
Dad
do
all
this?
Long
story
I
don’t
think
my
hands
are
up
to
explaining
that
just
now
and
to
be
honest
I’m
not
100%
sure
myself.
I’m
not
very
close
with
my
Dad
so
something
are
best
not
spoken
about
and
just
get
on
with
it.
I
have
a
feeling
it
could
be
connected
to
our
previous
dog
Max
#1
he
was
very
very
poorly
and
lived
in
vets
more
then
home
in
his
last
days.
I
think
the
guilt
and
hurt
still
haunts
him
so
he
stays
away.
What
with
all
the
trouble
of
getting
time
off
for
this
trip
I’m
sure
its
going
to
be
fun
and
games
getting
next
Wednesday
off
too.
If
my
boss
wants
to
start
then
she
can
have
her
War
because
no
one
and
nothing
comes
between
me
and
my
babies.
Every
time
I
drive
over
to
my
Dads
for
a
few
days
I
ache
so
much.
I’m
good
for
nothing.
I
feel
so
drained
from
it.
It’s
not
that
far
really,
I
have
done
the
journey
so
many
times
since
I
have
moved
but
I
think
my
RSI
is
fighting
me
on
this
one
now.
I
need
my
own
personal
driver!!!!
I
don’t
use
my
car
that
much
at
all,
popping
to
shops
or
taking
children
home
is
about
as
much
as
he
gets
out.
So
the
long
drive
does
him
good
as
it’s
not
good
for
the
car
to
sit
round
doing
nothing……
and
he
does
love
the
motorway
:) Yes
my
car
is
a
boy!!!!
The
hardest
part
is
coming
home
the
last
4-6
junctions
is
normally
when
it
hits
me.
My
body
goes
into
auto
shut
down
which
is
very
scary
when
on
the
motorway.
I
start
seeing
the
aeroplanes
taking
off
from
Heathrow
and
the
‘only
two
more
junctions
to
go’
start
whizzing
around
my
head
to
keep
me
going.
Yesterday
was
ok
as
there
was
lots
of
traffic.
It
normally
takes
me
between
60
–
80
minutes
door
to
door.
Yesterday
coming
home
was
2
and
half
hours
:(
It
was
rather
entertaining
watching
others
in
their
cars.
I
had
one
man
poke
his
tongue
out
at
me.
Seeing
others
getting
ratty
because
of
the
traffic,
people
singing
along
to
songs..
like
me!
I
even
saw
my
neighbour,
he
has
a
little
sports
kit
car….
Oh
Boy
can
he
move…
I
couldn’t
keep
up
with
him
when
we
pulled
off
our
junction. Said
I
want
to
go
for
a
spin
in
his
car.
Phew
that’s
better
got
one
of
those
swirls
out.
But
another
has
taken
its
place.
How
do
I
explain
this
all
to
my
Dad?
He
is
already
moaning
about
it
all.
I’ll
leave
that
one
churning
for
a
while.
DW >:)
| 
