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Real Sad Now
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By:
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ephuzz
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Mood:
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Sad
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Date:
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Sep 17, 2008
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Music:
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None
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I
have
so
much
on
my
mind
real
world
grown
up
BS
and
my
OCD.
My
finances
are
stressing
me
out
so
much,
I
barely
have
enough
money
to
get
buy
every
month
and
now
that
its
school
tax
season
I'm
scrambling
to
save
money
to
pay
them.
My
brother still
isn't
working
and can't
chip
in
for
the
bills
very
much.
He
does
this
home
based
work
for
some
guy
but
it’s
not
much.
We
live
together
and
I've
been
looking
after
him
the
past
2
years
but
it's
hard
sometimes.
I
feel
guilty
telling
him
how
this
is
all
making
me
feel.
I
don't
know
what
to
do.
I have
told
him
about
our
situation
regarding
the
house
we
own
and how
his
being
unemployed
has
put
a
lot
of
pressure
on
me
to
carry
the
entire
burden.
He
feels
really
guilty
and
tells
me
he
will
try,
but
then
he
just
doesn't
do
anything.
I
am
afraid
that
if
I
am
too
harsh
or
strict
with
him
that
he
will
be
even
more
hurt
and
depressed.
I’m
afraid
of
making
things
worse
for
him
but
on
the
other
hand
if
I
just
let
him
stay
where
he
is
nothing
will
change.
(Expletive)
OCD
makes
it
hard
to
decide
how
to
handle
some
situations
when
the
choices
you
have
can
cause
someone
hurt
or
pain.
I
mean
I
just
woke
up
feeling
like
sh*t
about
everything.
Lonely,
ugly,
worthless,
out
of
place,
weird,
different,
like
I
was
a
freak.
I
was
just
in
a
meeting
at
work
and
my
eyes
welled
up
with
tears
because
I
felt
this
huge
wave
of
sadness
hit
me,
I
had
to
sit
facing
away
from
everyone
because
I
was
so
ashamed.
I
didn't
want
them
to
see
the
look
on
my
face.
I
don't
know
what
I
am
living
for
anymore.
I
don't
feel
like
I
have
a
purpose,
a
plan,
goals,
inspiration,
like
all
I
am
doing
is
scrapping
by
in
every
sense
through
life.
I
want
to
believe
there
is
a
plan,
a
reason,
and
something
great
for
everyone,
but
a
lot
of
the
time
I
think
it’s
no
true
for
me.
I
wonder
when
will
things
be
different.
I
have
made
some
effort
to
change
what
I
can
but
I'm
just
so
sick
of
trying
anymore.
I
think
there
comes
a
point
where
it
just
doesn’t
matter
and
you
care
about
nothing.
All
I
seem
to
care
about
is
sleep
and
food
and
nothing
else.
It’s
a
numbness
all
over,
that
covers
me,
flows
through
me.
I
feel
like
I
am
a
hole,
empty,
dark,
alone.
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