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What to do

By: mattbenjamin50
Mood: Tired
Date: Oct 15, 2007
Music: None


For the last couple of days, I have been feeling the onset of depression. I do not know why I am depressed. I just know that I am. I feel a great need to withdrawal from society. I really just want to lock myself away, and just get away from people altogether. In one way many people piss me off, and another way, I hate the way some people are allowed to lead people on, only to reveal in the end, that they were lying all along. I feel sometimes that it would be best to just run people over with my car, but I feel that that is wrong. Plus I am waiting on my disability to kick in and don't really need to be involved in a civil lawsuit. People suck...


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From: cari
October 15, 2007, 10:19 pm

Sorry to hear you are going through a hard time.  You are absolutely right - people do suck.  But we all do.  We all suck.  No exceptions.  That is because not one person on the face of this earth is perfect. We are all flawed...even when we want to think otherwise.  We needlessly hurt each other again and again.  Because we are selfish, because we are immature, because we are not yet wise enough to know how to handle ourselves and treat other people...for a million different reasons.  What it all comes down to though is that we are human.  And we have both the capacity for amazing, wonderful, unselfish, pure love and goodness, and also for the worst of human behavior that you can possibly think of.  We have the capacity for each of these extremes.  So what do we do?  We all get pissed off and hate each other from time to time.  We cry and don't understand the world.  We want to kill, we want to escape from the pain, we want desperately to be loved for our true selves, unconditionally...the kind of love dogs give...where they expect nothing in return and our ever faithful and loyal.  Will we ever get what we truly seek?  Perhaps.  What to do?  That is the question...that is the title of your blog...what to do...get mad, be sad, rest, escape if you need to for a time, then go outside and look at the sun...think about how big and wide this world is and realize that yes, there is the capacity for great evil in mankind, but there is also the capacity for great love, and great goodness.  And most of the time when others hurt us they do not intend to do so...they are just as lost as us, trying to find their way in this world and bumping into things blindly along the way.  Most of us are lost on this journey...and in time we will find wisdom and peace if we truly seek it...but in the meantime we have to hope for the best and try not to see the world in black and white, good and bad.  Because there are shades of gray...and better than that, there are rays of sunshine that will come into your life...we just never know when that will be and have to try to wait patiently until the clouds break and they shine brilliantly through and lift us to that higher place.  Okay, enough of the analogies...hang in there MattBenjamin...and please don't run anyone over...it really won't solve anything.



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'That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves.' - Thomas Jefferson
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