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None
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By:
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CHAPINA09
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Mood:
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Other
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Date:
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Jul 27, 2007
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Music:
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None
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WELL
I
HAD
MY
FIRST
THERAPY
TALK
YESTERDAY...I
GUESS
I
CAN
SAY
IT'S
MY
NEW
BEGINNING...BUT
IT
KIND
OF
MADE
ME
SAD,
AND
HAPPY
ALL
AT
THE
SAME
TIME...I
MEAN
I
AM
HAPPY
THAT
I
FOUND
SOMEONE
TO
HELP
ME...BUT
THEN
I
FELT
SAD
BECAUSE
I
HAVE
TO
GO
THROUGH
IT
TO
RECOVER...WHY
CAN'T
I
JUST
WAKE
UP
ONE
DAY
AND
FEEL
LIBERATED???
IF
I
COULD
DO
SOMETHING
ABOUT
IT
I
WOULD
NOT
ONLY
HELP
MYSELF,
BUT
I
WOULD
ALSO
HELP
ALL
YOU
BEAUTIFUL
PEOPLE
WHO
SUFFER
LIKE
I
DO.
IF
ONLY
I
HAD
MAGICAL
POWERS...LOL...WAVE
MY
WAND
AND...POOF!!!
ALL
BETTER...LOL...THAT
WOULD
BE
SOMETHING...BUT
SERIOUSLY
I
WOULD,
IF
ONLY
I
COULD.
BUT
REALLY
I
DON'T
KNOW
WETHER
I
SHOULD
CONTINUE
THE
THERAPY...I
MEAN
IN
THE
END
THE
THERAPIST
IS
ONLY
THERE
FOR
THE
MONEY...I
FEEL
LIKE
THIS
IS
GOING
TO
BE
A
LONG
AND
EXTENSIVE
PROCESS,
ONLY
TO
BENEFIT
THE
THERAPIST
AND
LEAVE
ME
BROKE!!!
I
KNOW
IT'S
ALL
FOR
THE
BETTER...BUT
THEN
AGAIN
I
CAN
BE
MY
OWN
THERAPIST...RIGHT??!!
I
KNOW
I
AM
THROWING
UP
THOUGHTS
AGAIN...LOL...I
HATE
IT...BUT
RIGHT
NOW
I
AM
FEELING
A
BIT
BLUE...IT'S
MY
BF'S
BIRTHDAY...AND
I
KNOW
I
SHOULD
BE
FEELING
GREAT...BUT
THE
SUN'S
NOT
OUT
AND
I
FEEL
"DIRTY"
AGAIN...I
TOLD
MYSELF
THIS
MORNING
THAT
I
WOULD
NOT
FEEL
"CONTAMINATED"
AND
I
BARELY
GOT
TO
WORK
AND
I
FEEL
LIKE
THAT
ALREADY!!!
THANK
GOODNESS
MY
FRIEND
IS
LETTING
ME
GO
TO
HER
HOUSE
LATER
TO
CLEAN
UP...OTHERWISE
HOW
AM
I
SUPPOSE
TO
GO
TO
DINNER
AND
HAVE
FUN!!!???
I
HATE
THIS
FEELING...BECAUSE
EVEN
IF
I
TAKE
A
SHOWER
IN
THE
MORNING...WHEN
I
GET
TO
WORK...THE
ENVIRONMENT
MAKES
ME
FEEL
THIS
WAY...OHH
WELL,
I
LOVE
MY
FRIEND...SHE
IS
HELPING
ME
OUT
A
LOT
TODAY...AND
SHE
DOESN'T
EVEN
KNOW
IT...I
HATE
BEING
QUIET
ABOUT
MY
CONDITION...IT
IS
ONLY
EATING
ME
UP
INSIDE...
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