By: Lostinyoureyes
Mood: Frustrated
Date: Dec 28, 2012
Music: Silence

I isolate myself, and its often. And unlike so many of us, it's not about the germs or contamination at all. Its communication, and contact with people that make me completely sick. Anxiety. Agoraphobia. Ugh. I hide away all damn day because I must avoid people. I even avoid people online because I just don't know what to say or how to communicate with someone without being awkward. And its so depressing because this irrational fear of social interaction and of people is taking away from what I want; to be able to have relationships with people, and friends! I remember friends kind of. :) I've isolated myself so badly from people, I don't even know how to not be awkward anymore. And its just so darn frustrating. I mean, today, its at a point where I'm too afraid to talk to you; any of you- and believe me, I really, really like a lot of you. Its embarrassing. I feel ashamed and I feel shy. I have such stupid anxieties. Stupid. Itsironic, because I actually like people.



From: suits22
December 29, 2012, 9:25 am

My wife has been very helpful to me with this area of my OCD. I have relied way to much on her for reassurance and comfort in these situations. In the past she used to think I was in a bad mood or being rude to everyone because I would have a hard time engaging in social activities. Understanding now what I go through she helps me. If you have a person close to you that you can trust I suggest opening up to them so they could possibly help. I have told you about being active and busy but I understand that only gets you so far. Meds have helped tremedously but also taking control of the situations by putting yourself in social activities that you have had success with. Also, do your best to turn off that little devil on your shoulder in your ear. he just wants to make your life hell ;) Easier said then done. Again, areas of comfort to start like this blog and progress to newer and harder things. If you need tips I can try to give. Its hard but once you find the way out of this hole you will be happy. So much life and wonderful people out there.



From: plep001
December 29, 2012, 12:52 am

I think if you have not already you need to find a therapist start to build a relationship of trust up with them i think this will help start to feel stronger within yourself and be more able to go out to do baisc things like shopping. I think hanging out at a mall would be too much too soon.


The known is limited the unknown is vast go into the unknown more and more BKS Iyengar

From: Courage
December 28, 2012, 5:14 pm
I know how u feel. Mother wad same way and I took it on as well. I believe i blogged a simular blog like urs under yr. ago. I did baby steps. And worked on my esteem. through working,
talking mitror and watching life coaches on you tube. started talking to my kids teeage on. zi stil have issues. certain moms at my kids school i clam up. some its realy easy. I tru to force myself yo say new things to stramges like, hello, good morning. or talk yo chechers. my paenter used to make sll phone calls for me. now i do them all. When i gave up the OCDZ I GAIN A NEW LIFE


courage is not the absence of fear, its what you do inspite of fear