The Ten Reasons Not To Kill Myself
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By:
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checkcheckcheck
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Mood:
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Don't know
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Date:
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Dec 01, 2007
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Music:
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"In My Arms" by Plumb
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No
matter
how
bad
things
get,
I
refuse
to
commit
suicide
because: (1)
I
refuse
to
leave
a
corpse
that
weighs
more
than
170
pounds. (2)
I'm
an
atheist
so
I
have
no
idea
what
to
put
in
my
will
about
my
funeral
service
-
should
we
just
hold
it
in
the
backyard
like
a
summer
wedding
reception
and
then
bury
me
where
the
old
sandbox
used
to
be?
(3)
I
refuse
to
be
an
icebreaker
at
my
10-year
high
school
reunion
-
"Oh
did
you
hear
about
so-and-so?
I
wasn't
surprised.
By
the
way
have
you
tried
the
clam
dip?"
(4)
"The
Simpsons"
is
still
running. (5)
I
have
yet
to
wreak
revenge
on
ANYONE
on
my
hit
list
-
not
even
a
single
prank
call. (6)
There's
so
many
people
I
want
to
outlive. (7)
I
don't
know
enough
reasonably
fit
guys
who
can
be
my
pallbearers,
and
I
don't
want
my
casket
dropped
all
over
the
place. (8)
If
I
died,
the
executor
of
my
estate
would
have
the
awkward
task
of
canceling
all
my
porn
subscriptions. (9)
I
went
to
a
funeral
done
by
a
newly
arrived
priest
and
he
knew
nothing
about
the
deceased
and
did
a
TERRIBLE
job
-
I
don't
want
some
stranger
standing
in
front
of
my
family
eulogizing
me
with
stuff
he
pulls
out
of
his
ass. (10)
From
what
I've
seen
of
them,
dead
people
don't
seem
to
be
enjoying
themselves. And
so,
the
living
continues!
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