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It's been a while
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By:
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emk9312
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Mood:
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Okay
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Date:
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Jan 31, 2013
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Music:
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None
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I
haven't
written
on
here
in
quite
a
while,
so
I
figured
I'd
go
ahead
and
post
something.
A
lot
has
happened
since
my
last
post,
which
was
sometime
last
year.
About
six
months
ago,
I
broke
up
with
someone
that
I
had
been
dating
for
a
long
time.
Unfortunately,
it
was
a
bad
relationship,
and
I
stayed
in
it
for
about
two
years
too
long.
This
made
it
difficult
for
things
between
us
to
settle
down
until
about
last
week,
when
he
finally
agreed
to
stop
contacting
me.
I'm
still
struggling
with
everything
that
happened,
and
I
finally
opened
up
about
it
to
a
friend.
This
helped
me
realize
that
I
should
stop
blaming
myself
and
move
on.
I
have
a
meeting
with
my
therapist
tomorrow,
and
I
haven't
seen
her
in
almost
two
months.
We
left
off
on
a
really
positive
note
because
that
week
was
one
of
the
best
weeks
of
my
life.
I
let
myself
have
a
night
off
to
go
see
an
amazing
concert,
and
I
got
a
research
position
at
the
med
school
at
my
university.
My
therapist
will
probably
be
surprised
when
I
go
back
to
see
her,
and
she
will
see
that
my
mood
has
completely
changed.
Or
maybe
she
won't
be
surprised.
She
could
get
that
kind
of
thing
all
the
time.
I
don't
know.
But
anyway,
the
week
after
I
stopped
seeing
her,
my
aunt
died
suddenly
(natural
causes).
I
am
usually
very
good
at
handling
stress
like
this,
but
I
felt
like
I
got
hit
by
a
ton
of
bricks.
I
prepare
myself
for
tragedy
all
the
time,
but
I
did
not
see
this
one
coming.
We
found
out
after
she
died
that
she
was
secretly
a
hoarder
and
kept
a
diary
of
how
unhappy
she
was.
This
was
like
putting
salt
in
the
wound,
and
I
feel
guilty
that
nobody
saw
how
sick
she
was.
She
kind
of
annoyed
me
at
times
(everyone
has
a
family
member
like
that),
so
I
started
to
distance
myself
from
her.
This
makes
me
feel
horrible
because
I
know
I
should
have
been
better
to
her.
But
it
also
got
me
thinking
about
how
I
deal
with
the
rest
of
my
family.
My
sister
was
born
with
a
rare
genetic
disease
that
makes
it
a
miracle
that
she's
alive
today.
My
whole
life,
I've
been
preparing
for
the
worst
by
not
letting
myself
get
too
attached.
I
realized
after
my
aunt
died
that
this
is
a
terrible
way
of
coping,
and
I'm
trying
my
best
to
fix
it.
She
doesn't
know
who
I
am
or
anything,
so
it
doesn't
matter
to
her,
but
it
still
bothers
me.
When
my
siblings
and
I
were
younger,
it
was
really
difficult
to
cope
with
a
sister
who
seemed
to
be
slipping
away
in
front
of
our
eyes.
Everyone
in
the
family
had
a
different
way
of
dealing
with
it,
and
my
brother's
method
involved
taking
out
all
of
his
anger
on
me.
Because
of
this,
I
have
a
lot
of
resentment
toward
him,
and
I
have
recently
decided
that
it
is
time
to
stop
talking
to
him.
Sometimes,
it's
best
to
just
cut
ties
and
walk
away.
It
doesn't
really
make
me
sad,
though,
because
pretty
much
the
only
emotion
I
feel
towards
him
is
anger.
I
wrote
a
letter
to
him
that
I
won't
actually
give
him,
but
it
helped
me
get
my
feelings
out.
I'm
bringing
it
to
my
therapist
tomorrow,
so
we'll
see
what
she
thinks
about
it. On
another
note,
I
think
I
suddenly
decided
that
I
might
want
to
be
pre-med.
I'm
really
interested
in
neuroscience,
and
I
think
I
want
to
be
a
neurologist.
My
dad
got
in
a
motorcycle
accident
last
summer,
and
we
recently
found
out
that
he
has
spinal
chord
damage,
and
there
isn't
much
else
they
can
do
for
him
in
terms
of
relieving
pain
and
other
symptoms.
Maybe
this
was
the
inspiration
for
my
sudden
career
plans,
but
I
can't
be
sure. I
just
realized
how
incredibly
scatter-brained
this
post
was.
Sorry
about
that.
But
it
helped
to
just
write,
even
if
it's
really
random.
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