Hello Again
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By:
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jenxash
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Mood:
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Sleepy
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Date:
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Jul 15, 2012
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Music:
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None
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So
I
just
noticed
that
I
may
have
a
patter
going
on
here.
The
last
couple
of
posts
were
posted
in
July
of
last
year.
Well,
like
last
year
around
this
time,
I
became
very
depressed.
It
was
so
bad
and
I
was
so
desperate
that
I
sat
in
my
room
one
night,
locked
the
door,
and
began
to
take
the
perscribed
panic
attack
pills
two
at
a
time.
I
was
at
eight
when
my
fiance
broke
into
my
room
and
realized
what
I
was
doing
and
took
them
away. I
reached
a
point
where
I
felt
like
no
one
cared
about
me
and
I
just
wanted
this
feeling
to
go
away.
I
wanted
to
be
with
my
Dad.
I
wanted
to
see
him.
So
I
had
this
idea
that
if
I
took
a
lot
of
those
pills
I'd
either
get
close
enough
to
death
that
I
could
see
him
and
talk
to
him
and
have
him
hold
me
and
tell
me
everything
was
alright
and
be
able
to
come
back
and
handle
everything
in
life
better
or
I
would
die.
At
that
point
I
really
didn't
care
or
think
about
the
possibility
of
death.
I
just
wanted
to
see
and
be
with
my
Dad. After
that
my
fiance
took
my
pills
away
from
me
and
stayed
with
me
and
just
kept
an
eye
on
me.
It
took
me
a
few
days
before
I
told
my
Mom
what
had
happened.
She
was
upset
and
she
too
started
to
keep
an
eye
on
me.
I
did
a
lot
of
crying,
staying
awake
at
night,
sleeping
a
little
at
a
time.
So
this
past
week
I
finally
made
an
appointment
to
see
my
phsyicatrist
and
explained
everything
that
was
going
on.
He
told
me
it
was
something
that
I
probably
had
to
just
'think
through'.
I
couldn't
believe
he
was
just
going
to
let
me
go
like
that.
I
was
desperate!
I
began
to
cry
and
express
how
tired
and
desperate
I
am
and
he
decided
to
up
my
medication
and
gave
me
a
new
perscription
to
help
me
sleep
at
night.
So
far,
the
medication
for
sleep
has
worked.
I
am
so
relieved.
The
anxiety
that
came
with
the
insomnia
was
just
extra
weight
I
had
to
carry.
But
now
I
think
I'm
doing
better
with
that
now.
And
it's
easier
for
me
to
deal
with
my
fiance
working
all
nights
this
week.
If
I
hadn't
gotten
anything
for
sleep
I
think
I
would
be
a
mess
right
now.
I
was
really
getting
anxious
about
it. I
know
this
is
probably
all
coming
along
now
because
it's
close
to
many
anniversarys.
I'm
just
needing
to
take
it
one
day
at
a
time
and
focus
on
getting
better.
I
hope
things
will
get
better
soon.
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