By: sdluna
Mood: Don't know
Date: Apr 10, 2013
Music: None

I haven't written in some time. I haven't been on much, but I do think of you all. I've been seeing a new therapist, a specialist in OCD. He's all about the Exposure and Response Prevention and he's very good at it. I started attending the group that he had going first and then started working with him on an individual basis as well. I'm very lucky to have a therapist experienced in this technique so close to home.

Anyway, I sometimes wonder if I'll ever really feel better. I've been working really hard and OCD is not my only issue so it's slow going, but I feel like I'm too old to change. I wonder if it would be easier to just live the way I'm used to rather than try to change and fail. The exposures are taxing and time sucking and I just dread them. I can see a difference as I work through them, but every day is a real struggle to make myself do them.

Anyway, I just wanted to post and let everyone know I'm still around. Take care of yourselves!



April 12, 2013, 12:38 am
Good to hear from you! So proud of you! I totally understand how taxing and timesucking and scary ERP can be -- that is a fabulous description. :-D But the freedom that comes from the hard work is worth it! Even the little improvements can make your daily quality of life better. It has helped me so much; I'm not back to "normal" yet, but I keep plugging away and it is getting easier. Hang in there! :-)


Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell apart?

From: Lucci
April 11, 2013, 10:13 pm
I understand your feelings, I think it's better to give it try, even it you fail, at least you tried to change. I also started therapy not long ago, for harm OCD, intrusive thoughts that I had or years. I also wonder how long before i get through this, but I really want to try and give all my best. You are lucky to have found a good therapist, keep us posted and good luck!


Sometimes all you can do is trust whatever happens, adapt and make the best of it.

April 11, 2013, 5:24 pm

First of all, good for you for hanging in there with the program.

Thank you for writing this.  I'm just getting started, and the time and energy required to do even relatively mild exposures just keep derailing me.  Plus, it takes so much time to do my rituals....I too, wonder often whether it would just be easier to find a way to live the way I'm used to.  Except that my latest flare has shrunk my life to such a degree that I know I have to at least get back to where I used to be.  Hopefully, much better than that. 

Anyway, good luck.  It's a long struggle, but we can take hope from all those people who report that their OCD shrank from controlling most of their life, to only affecting them for relatively short periods once or twice a week.  What a feeling that would be!


If all you can do is crawl, start crawling. —Rumi

From: jemily
April 11, 2013, 8:14 am

Oh I know what you mean about being too old to change. I used to think that same thing but now I think differently and want to regain my life before ocd barged in. I wish you good luck with your new therapist and the strentgh to keep fighting.   : )


We are all broken... that's how the light gets in.