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Back "on track"
Early
this
morning
I
was
having
difficulty
sleeping
as
I
had
started
to
get
really
anxious
about
attempting
to
go
to
my
office
building
again.
My
CPN
had
suggested
we
plan
the
exposure
quite
meticulously
this
time
and
so
we’d
done
that.
It
would
actually
be
quite
difficult
to
sit
in
the
car
just
now
as
really
cold
and
don’t
really
want
to
sit
with
the
engine
running
whilst
stationary
so
we
decided
instead
to
do
a
few
circuits
of
the
grassy
area
outside
and
then
head
into
town
to
do
a
few
bits
of
shopping
and
then
do
the
same
again
when
we
came
back.
Anxiety
pre
exposure
was
quite
high
last
time
but
felt
like
a
10
this
time,
maybe
because
memory
of
failure
was
still
quite
strong.
Well
it
actually
went
better
than
I
expected
and
I’m
a
little
further
forward.
The
pre
planning
did
help.
Can’t
believe
it
takes
so
much
work
and
effort
just
to
do
something
that
I
never
even
used
to
think
about
before!
My
anxiety
score
on
journey
into
Exeter
was
10
and
was
severely
tempted
to
abandon
my
efforts
as
felt
sick
and
terrified
I’d
not
succeed
again.
When
we
arrived
my
husband
had
to
“persuade”
me
to
get
out
of
the
car
and
we
set
off
to
walk
around
the
block
and
pass
the
office
building
(the
plan
was
to
do
this
for
20
minutes
or
so).
To
start
off
with
I
was
really
tense,
couldn’t
look
up
and
had
dreadful
pain
in
my
neck
and
shoulders
from
holding
myself
so
rigid.
My
anxiety
score
for
1st
couple
of
circuits
stayed
at
10
but
gradually
it
started
to
fall
as
I
realised
nothing
“bad”
was
happening.
I
kept
repeating,
to
myself,
the
fact
that
it
was
only
a
building
and
didn’t
have
any
power
over
me
and
that
seemed
to
help.
We
did
about
6
circuits
and
by
the
time
we
left
there
and
walked
into
town
my
anxiety
score
was
down
to
a
6.
Should
really
have
carried
on
doing
this
longer
but
didn’t
want
anyone
calling
the
police
and
saying
there
were
a
couple
of
people
acting
suspiciously
outside
some
office
buildings.
Doing
the
shopping
was
okay
as
it
helped
that
I
had
a
couple
of
things
to
buy
and
that
provided
a
good
distraction
from
thinking
about
when
I’d
have
to
go
back
and
do
a
bit
more
before
we
left.
When
it
was
time
to
go
back
I
took
the
time
to
think
about
what
I’d
achieved
so
far
and
tell
myself
the
last
time
wasn’t
so
bad.
I
also
did
my
breathing
exercises
and
tried
to
concentrate
on
relaxing
my
body
posture
and
not
being
so
tense.
Anxiety
score
as
we
came
up
to
the
road
was
only
about
a
7
this
time
and
once
we’d
done
the
same
amount
of
circuits
it
fell
off
to
a
5.
Feeling
quite
proud
of
this
and
just
need
to
repeat
this
each
week
until
the
score
goes
down
to
0.
Once
I’ve
done
that
I
can
work
up
to
entering
the
actual
building
and
then
progress
to
going
into
the
office
itself.
Going
to
take
some
time
to
do
all
that
but
at
least
I’m
back
“on
track”.
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