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need advice...

By: asg7121
Mood: Curious
Date: Jun 25, 2012
Music: None


Ok... I don't have OCD. I joined this website because my boyfriend has severe OCD and depression stemming from it. He washes his hands/arms A LOT... so much so that his hands are covered in cuts from being scrubbed raw so often. He has even told that it has made him seriously contemplate suicide. However, he doens't want to see anyone about it. He was doing some exposure therapy before we started dating, but he told his therapist it was getting too intense and he needed to take a step back before going any further into treatment. She took it as he needed medication. He was put on prozac for a while but it just made him feel even worse. He then went to apsychiatrist who put him on zoloft and he felt even worse. He told this new doctor about his inability to get better, and he was told that it was all his fault that he was sick. So he doen't trust doctors/counselors at all. Now that we are getting fairly serious, I've been trying to get him to open up about his OCD and depression. He however, doesn't want me to know how much he suffers. All I want to do is help him... any advice or suggestions? I know he needs therapy to get better, and I am willing to go to therapy with him or help him in any way I can.


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From: spottiedottie485
June 26, 2012, 1:36 pm
You are awesome for being so supportive of him. His feelings about doctors are probably reinforced in his head by OCD. OCD is so cruel. Look up www.ocfoundation.org and they have a list of therapists that are truly trained in OCD .

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From: chez
June 26, 2012, 11:02 am

He's so lucky to have you i think you going to therapy with him is a good idea it may feel a bit more easier having someone he trust's with him especially after the bad experience he had with one that would put anyone off getting help but i want you to realise that some people spend sometime before finding the right therapist that they are comfortable with and can work well with just be there for him you are a good person going through this with him as it affects the both of you keep intouch.  Cheryl
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From: g0760655266
June 26, 2012, 10:27 am

Just knowing that you're there will mean the world to him.  He will open up eventually.  Stay strong on his behalf.  J
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From: kawilli96
June 26, 2012, 9:41 am

I think he will come around. I did. I have severe OCD and have since I was a child. I wash my hands as well and they get very large cuts on them and bleed and hurt and look awful. When I was a teenager, I saw therapists for 4 years for depression and an eating disorder. One to which told my parents that I was beyond help. I stopped seeing therapists on my own not long after that. I had no faith in them at all after that. Any of them. I was put on both Zoloft and Prozac while seeing that therapist and they both had bad effects on me. My family had been trying to get me to see someone about my OCD for quite awhile now. Up until about a month ago, I refused to do so. I did not want to go though all of that again. And I like to try to do things on my own. I finally got to a breaking point and realized it was much bigger than myself, and I decided to seek professional help. I have not been able to get in yet, but I am first on the waiting list. I can't take it anymore and am willing to do whatever it takes to get this under control. So, I have faith that he will come around. That is so wonderful of you to want to help him so much. You must really care for him.
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From: musicrocks96
June 25, 2012, 10:09 pm

 Sounds like me in the beginning, provided I was only 9 at the time, I went through a similar experience.  I had an absolutely awful therapist who i didn't trust at all.  I would not buy into cognitive behavioral therapy at all.  I was on really strong meds for a kid.  Now at 16 I am off of meds and soon ending therapy.  He will come around to it at some point.  
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Why not?
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From: asg7121
June 25, 2012, 6:20 pm

 Thank you to all that are responding!! Any help is very welcome. I have been trying to understand what little things he does say, but the fact that he's saying anything at all lets me know that he trusts me. I also try to relate to his depression because I have had issues with it myself growing up. However, I know that the reasons for our common illness are so different, so it is very hard for me to relate to him though that. I will definitely be looking into the books that were suggested! Hopefully your ideas will help us both, and I will definitely post again with an update!!
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From: Logan
June 25, 2012, 5:36 pm
You're a real gem for enduring his ailment. Try playing therapist yourself. Tell him you don't judge his behavior. Let him know that although each case is special, many, many people are struggling with this. When talking, try to keep the focus on how he feels - about his obsessions, compulsions - everything. Ask him what the worst thing that could happen would be, if he didn't wash just right. Ask him if it's really unbearable. Sorry, I'll try tikl address this more in depth later.

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From: sdluna
June 25, 2012, 5:09 pm

He's lucky to have you.  My husband attended all of my therapy with me and it made a huge difference.  It made me stick with it and not feel so alone.  It takes time to find the right therapy and medication.  Finding a therapist you can trust in can be very difficult.  Broach the subject with him when you feel like it's a good time and just be sensitive to it, but don't stop bringing it up.  He'll feel so much better if he keeps trying to get help, even if it doesn't work the first or second time around.


 


Good luck and let us know how it goes!
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From: jeneva5
June 25, 2012, 4:41 pm

Hmmm...that's rough when he doesn't want to be open with you.  Just keep assuring him that you're there for him and that you support him and want him to get help.  Keep trying to push him to see a psychologist and maybe suggest that you can go with him the first few times so he's not alone.  Although Prozac and Zoloft haven't worked for him, please let him know that there are a lot of different antidepressants and anti anxiety pills out there.  Just have to keep trying one until it works.  I hope you can help him get the help he needs.
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From: HoneyB
June 25, 2012, 4:41 pm

I'm certainly not a medical expert, but the only thing you can do is offer your love and support.  Only he can make the decision whether or not to seek help.  I've had OCD symptoms for many years, and it's not an easy topic for discussion.  With any luck, he'll get some medical treatment, in hopes of leading a normal life someday.  Good luck to both of you.


 


Honey
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