Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Mental illness can be hell Josh. It also seems to cause alienation. Hang in there, it may get better. I still luv ya. We put in too many years together to do anything else. XOXOX Mary

I can relate to you how you feel.  You have to take care of youself first.  Stand strong and take care.  J

 Joshua i know how you feel, i was once in your place and i promise it does get better. One thing you have to realize is that family feelings is important but everyone lives for themselfs. You need to stop worrying about how your brother feels about or how your mom is depressed. I promise it is not your fault. Stop beating yourself up for something you cannot change.  If you hate your boss find a new job. And you should never hate yourself try to cheer up and live for yourself you can never make anyone else happy if your not happy yourself. The best solution i have found to raise self esteem is to look in the mirror every morning and list 10 things you love about your self.

 hey joshua hope things get better , dont beat your self being negative start being positive and be free and beat all negatives maybe with goodness and positivity you can have make your family happy be free ive been off weed 5 months after 12 heavy years it is the root of all my problems it messes your mind get your self in cheak and keep it real peace and positivity all the best , dmx keep your head to the sky good tune

Hello ! As someone who tried to kill herself a few yrs ago because I couldn't take being a " prisoner in my own body ", I get where your coming from. Life is hard, OCD sucks. The 1 thing I have learned is that people do care. People would rather you bother them with your problems than see you end up dead. Hang in there ! You are not alone. People do care. People do read blogs on here.

Hi Joshua, Glad I signed on tonight and caught your blog. First time I've been on the Tribe in a while. You know, I've had many a day/night when I've had similar feelings as you describe - different circumstances but similar feelings - and you're wrong about one thing - there are people that care - I care about you. I can relate to your unhappiness, your stress, inability to sleep  and even your feelings of guilt But you know, we're not really responsible for other people's happiness. If we take on guilt for the depression and unhappiness of everyone around us - it will drive us insane! And it just ain't so - no matter what we feel! Other people have to find their own happiness and although it may include us, we are not the sole ingredient in their feelings of well being and happiness. So, try to quit beating yourself up so much! You are a person, an individual and responsible for yourself. Do you have OCD Joshua? I had it in the worst way - in a level I hope you never see....for 25 yrs. I didn't even know what was wrong. I thought I was losing my mind and thought I was the only one that had such feelings. Well, I won't go into further details but over the years I got help, got 90% symptom free. I still have some ocd symptoms but no compulsions that even compare to what I used to have. If you wanna talk to me, I am a good listener. I don't think you're full of sh*t....but I know people used to think I was. No one knows that has not walked in your shoes. ;)

Hope to hear from you. Feel better.