Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

I am 41, I am on my second marriage, and I have 2 small boys. I had a very rough childhood, I was abused and molested multiple times before I was 8. I grew up on the streets of Las Vegas. I was sexually active at an early age but mostly with hookers and prostitutes.

But I got away and joined the Navy. After I got out and tried marriage. Would up marrying a woman into BDSM and swinging. That marriage later 7 years. After I left her I searched for something more quiet and normal. Now I have been married for 6 years and have 2 boys ages 1 and 3.

I have struggled with ADD, OCD, and anxiety my whole life. I have almost destroyed my current marriage because of this. The hardest parts have been to make my wife understand what I really have to deal with, and it is very sad that it takes me destroying her trust and faith in us to make her see my struggles for what they are.

I love my boys but I would have just had one. Two is just too much for either my wife or me. For the last 3 years the stress and her health have slowly gone downhill.

But I dearly love all of them and I recently started a recovery program for sex addicts.

I am a Sci-Fi and Fantasy person. I am a computer geek also.
I am a quiet person most of the times until I get to know someone.

I use to travel and my favorites times of the day are quiet mornings in front of a window with a cup of tea reading.

I love the ocean. I love being on it away from land. But I also pretty much like anywhere with green and trees.

I hate stressful situations. I run away from anything embarrassing, which makes me put my hands over my eyes at romantic or dramatic movies.

I dislike having to raise my voice, and I have a strong aversion of authority figures and being told what to do.

I love porn. I have learned how to not let it control me completely, but it's so much apart of my compulsions

I love rock music. My favorite bands are Queensryche, Linkin Park, Evanescence, and Nine Inch Nails. But I also have a love of a variety of music such as classical, Pink, and even Kelly Clarkson

My grandmother first read my JRR Tolkien Lord of the Rings when I was 6. By the time I went to school I read well above my class.

My favorites have to be Lord of the Rings, The wheel of Life series by Robert JordN, Fire and Ice by Gerrge RR Martin, the Sun Star series by Sara Douglas, the Night Angel Trilogy by Brent Weeks, and I could go on and on....

I love Sci-Fi and fantasy movies. I love Star Trek to Star Wars, and from Resident Evil to Underworld.

I don't have many now that I have a full time job, I commute 4 hours a day, and I have 2 small boys.

I do love to read and at one time I loved to spend my weekends going to used book stores collecting hard back books. Now because of space and needing to travel light I am moving to e-books.

I love to collect pictures of landscapes. I've been doing this since the days of dial up and bbs's whe it took an hour to download an 800x600 sized pictures. Now I look for pictures that are 2000x4000 and range between 4-10MB.

I love to hike. I use to mountain climb in my younger days, I also scuba dived when I was younger as well.

Relationship Struggles	Christians With OCD