"Never attach your happiness to anything you can lose. ~ C.S. Lewis"

JOB: Artist
RELIGION: Not Religious
MEMBER SINCE: December 3, 2012
POINTS: [ 1068 ]
GENDER: Female
AGE: 43
VIEWS: 1181
LAST LOGIN: 04.16.14

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I hit a down spell... not with ocd, with my life and more so with my struggle to realize my full, real self and embrace my identity - glitches and all. I wasn't born a bright light just to hide. If someone doesn't like the light they can turn away, wear shades, or do whatever they need to do. I am cool with that. I just won't be pulling the shades down on myself any time soon.

I have harm OCD, with a lot of forms of checking behaviour. It is well controlled and I do well with it for the most part. I love helping others learn how to do the same and how to love their own light. Shine on!!

I have ADHD. I don't call it a disease, it is a difference but one that means I don't fit well into the way the non-adhd world works and that causes much stress and frustration. I used to think I was stupid. Not any more.

I also have a rare physical disability. It means I sprain, tear, dislocate and sublux most joints. I have had so many tumors I've lost count and I have ended up in the ER with broken arteries. I live with the risk of my aorta just bursting suddenly someday. This past summer I had the latest of 3 major surgeries, and it removed a part of my kidney.

I am ok. Don't ever feel bad for me. I feel blessed most of the time, not like I have some unfair lot. As hard as it can be some days, I feel I have a very rich perspective on life because of my struggles.


You. Yes, You there... I don't like you. Hahahaha, don't be so CEREAL. I hate onions, liars, arrogance,mean people, inequality,passive aggressiveness. I also dislike getting a dog hair stuck in my foot like a splinter.

Also not much of a fan of those who like to drag someone down but don't offer much help to others. I am not perfect but I try to help and contribute positively here. I've been through SO much that I have zero tolerance for crap attitudes.

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From: relax
April 14, 2014, 12:03 am


Be your own best friend :)

March 31, 2014, 1:28 am
Sorry for the long delay. How have you been as of late?

It's now the end of March. That week of needing rest must be pretty close now. How has your sleep been lately?

Too bad about not getting that grant. I really don't think non artistic people will ever be able to appreciate art or artists. They are too dull and close minded. Don't let those clowns stop you though.
Yeah. The name change lady was a strange one, but I can give her credit for at least showing her face. Never spoke to her again, whoever she was ha. The whole online dating thing is weird. Im not really a first move kind of person either, but I think that's more the guys responsibility. I think I'm a little too comfortable with just being friends for a while first. Funny that the guy messages you each time. You found a stage 5 clinger without actually meeting him yet. Too bad he doesn't converse well. I think a lot of people rely on things like calling you beautiful or sexy to replace the ability to have an in depth discussion.
Sorry for the long delay in replying. Hope things have improved with your sleep, body and mind.



From: Snell
March 29, 2014, 11:37 am
you know what Bon i'm doing really great thanks just got finished from work but that's ok this is London there is a lot of jobs here me and Alex are doing great we're all loved up i'm paying for her to see me in july so i can't wait for that sorry to here things are hard at the moment for you i'm sure things will pick up for you have a good day mate


Live for today

From: Snell
March 14, 2014, 12:34 pm
that's ok bon


Live for today

February 23, 2014, 2:20 pm
I miss chatting with you too. It's been a while. I haven't been very active here as of late either. The Office Depot/Office Max merger is world wide. There are still pretty unorganized with it right now, which may have been what you have noticed with your work.

I think its great that you are getting your art work going again! It can be very therapeutic. People will never stop enjoying art. Being that you have a passion for it and a motivation with your "kids", I think that translates into the work and people can appreciate it more. Keep going!

That airway problem sounds complicated. Maybe position can effect breathing? Hopefully the sleep study at the lab will give them the opportunity to get a closer look at whats going on and maybe come up with some alternatives to getting better sleep while dealing with the airway and pain. If you never get to those deep stages of sleep due to waking up, then your body will have a hard time healing and resting completely.

The dating thing can get pretty crazy. I went out with a woman around Christmas time who's name changed a few times. On the site her name was one thing. When I met her in person, it was another. Later that night when walking around looking at Christmas lights, she said it was something else. I was glad to get that one over with ha. That's a bizarre experience.



No idea. I like a lot, dislike a lot more. I like the most awful pop/hiphop/dance/trance/crap when I need to get my groove on. Right now I am a big fan of Joss Stone's Colour Me Free.

I've read too many to list. Really. I'd read so many of the major classics, most Shakespeare, and whatever else I could get, before leaving high school. Now I find reading difficult because of the ADHD and OCD. I don't like fiction much.

I don't like movies much.

BEING %$#@! GRATEFUL FOR EVERY DAY NO MATTER HOW MISERABLE I FEEL BECAUSE I AM SO FLIPPIN' LUCKY. Yes, L-U-C-K-Y. I can turn on a tap to get clean water. I don't have to worry about crocodiles. I can go use a bathtub in safety and not have to worry about tigers killing me in the woods. I can turn on the heat. I can buy food or even go to a foodbank... but even then, at least I can go to one instead of dying on the roadside or being filmed while dying, covered in flies, to air on some western nation's charity fund raiser on TV.

April 13, 2014, 10:56 pm

March 21, 2014, 10:00 pm
March 20, 2014, 6:41 pm
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March 13, 2014, 10:02 pm