Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

The "OCD Me" I have chidlhood, adolescent, and adult OCD, my dr said I was one of the most severe cases he's ever seen - so I'm crazy. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 18. I stopped taking medication when I was 21 after 200 mgs of Zoloft a day gave me voices in my head, which made me think I was even more crazy. I have neutral obsessions, I like my routines, no one should touch my stuff (unless I say ok), I've never had a problem with germs, but I have compulsions with no obsessions (that's my childhood OCD that was never taken care of, an example is my fear of stairs). I have obsessions with no compulsions (I can't watch Oprah because I obsess about being on her show no matter what the topic). I like to find patterns in well everything, and I'm a counter somtimes (not kitchen or bathroom, more like numbers LOL). I have a hard time throwing things away. I have major OCD when it comes to food (well I guess I have major OCD anyway). I'm dealing with morbid obsessions right now (well not right now right now) which are new to me. I deal with a touching obsession (it's a texture thing)on a regular bases. I used to be a cutter and have picked (at my skin) for as long as I can remember. I wish I can turn off the TV in my head that stars me as the main character of every show. I have great support from my husband, he's one of the few people close to me whose never said "Your OCD is all in your Head."

The "Real Me" Ten years ago my life was filled with about 16 to 20 hours of OCD a day without my knowledge. I was completely unaware of the fact that I was suffering from an illness. When I was diagnosed, I was pretty upset and angry and shocked and upset. The person I thought I was wasn't that person at all. It took some time off medication and time on meditation to realize I was the same person just my self conscious was higher. I now have to be aware of my obsessions and help my self to understand their root and whether or not to allow them or get rid of them. The "OCD Me" seems crazy but the truth is I rarely if ever deal with two or more of my obsessions/complusions at a time, unless I'm eating a sandwhich while walking downstairs with a pattern on them, then I might have a little anxiety (LOL). Most people I meet have no idea I have OCD unless they have experience with the illness. Of course I never stop talking so I usually tell people and explain OCD to them. I am no longer seeing a doctor that wants to "cure" my OCD, but instead help lower my anxiety.  I had to pee alot, I know I know TMI TMI, but the meds seem to help that. Any way . . . . .

 Let's see "About Myself" now: I'm part of the American population with no human kids instead I refer to my dogs and 1 cat as my furrkids (I know it's sick, makes me throw-up in my mouth a little). I have three, ones a fox terrier so he's like have a "real" child. My husband and I are looking to buy a house. I like tattoos, my dad's a biker. My husband has no tattoos, I say I have enough for the two of us. Right now we're being kinda anti-social, not on purpose, I think it's more like we're lazy. I like wine, coffee, Coca-Cola, pin-up girls, strange collectables, and being awesome.  I write poetry, watch movies, read, spin techno, listen to music, play with the dogs, chill, relax, do word puzzels, play WOW and try to let my brain rest. I do alot of brain resting.