I´m so glad I found this community. For the last 3 years or so I´ve felt completely alone with my problems, this is what I have been trying to find :) My life today is really simple and complex at once. I´m socially isolated and been so for almost 3 years now. I had a good run from 2002 to 2005 when I was in hospital, the various wards but now I´ve come to really dislike them since I´ve often been subjected to violence but of course they have many good sides as well.
I have ADD, BDD, SAD, OCD, depression, health anxiety, personality disorder, memory problems, fear of flies. Frustrating after 2 and a half years constant treatment in hospital, I am now on benefits and live in a tiny apartment downtown in Reykjavík. It´s like I´m allergic to life, most of it, I´m stuck, see a psychiatrist every two weeks and am on five different meds. Actually I´ve started seeing this psychologist, she´s done more for me in four sessions than my doc for four years, now for the first time I have hope my ocd is going away, well at least the worst part, I now really think I can beat this ocd, I had lost all hope. Just dream of being happy and of good health.
But I´d like to think I´m not all serious, I try to have fun when I get the chance and see the positive in things :)
INFJ - "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1.5% of total population.
Vids I took, forgot to zoom in on Sigurrós which sucks:/:
Like darkness so december is my favorite month in Iceland cause it´s dark all day. Like open minded people, sensitive, smiling, honest, kind, loving, caring, people who go out of their way to help others, animals, I love music, being accepted just the way I am now.
Don´t like it when it´s bright outside, don´t like arrogance, prejudice, bullying,cyberbullying, reading with ADD, psychiatric wards, medication, people staring, war, discrimination, stereotypes, violence, isolation, mental illnesses, not being fit, how it´s difficult for me even to write or say a few words to people I don´t know very well, how I aways have to censor or edit everything I say or write, how anything I say is never good enough for me and that I fear it´s not good enough for the people I talk to, pain, people who see others in desperate need and do nothing being in a position to help, parents who neglect their children, parents who don´t hug their kids, how insecure I am, rejection, grown up people who act like inmature, cruel kids and make fun at the expense of others, it´s pathetic, it disgusts me. Hypocrisy, disrespect, people who think they´re better than me, people who underestimate me, judgemental people, narrowmindedness,
Korn, Slipknot, System Of A Down, Enya, Disturbed, Metallica, Prodigy, Coldplay, Sigurrós, Queen, Sinead O´connor, Hillsong music (gospel, I find peace in listening to this particular band),
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
IF THE SONG DOES NOT LOAD JUST GO OFF THE PAGE AND THEN LOAD IT AGAIN!
I collect classic literature, I love Dostoevski and Leo Tolstoj but the ADD and all the other sh*t makes it pretty much impossible to read.
Television: My name is Earl, Balls of steel, Everybody loves Raymond, Chappelle´s show and more.
Nevermind the bodybuilding vids that come after :/
Cycling, Soccer, Music, Films, Literature, Computer games, My internet pages, People, Family, Mountainneering, Meditation, Jogging, Photography, Cooking, Travelling,
Dr. Bhante Gunaratana, author of Mindfulness in plain English. My psychologist gave me a short version of his book she put together about Mindfulness which is a part of CBT. Here he talks about many various things we can learn a lot from(the last 20 videos, the order is from last to left if you want to see them in the right order). You can read his book for free online, just go here: http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/ , I highly recommend it,this is a psychological meditation: